Have you ever been on the receiving end of bad relationship advice that kept you stuck in a negative cycle or searching for your “meant-to-be” person? Maybe you’ve heard (or even repeated) things like:
- “If it's meant to be, it will be.”
- “It will all work out in the end.”
- “Love will conquer all.”
- “True love is unconditional.”
- “Follow your heart.”
- “Your soulmate is out there.”
- “Relationships should be easy.”
👎 These sayings sound romantic, but they can be misleading—especially when real relationship challenges arise.
I think the worst relationship advice I heard was from a professor in college. I call it the worst because it almost sounds like wisdom: “Don’t marry the person you can live with. Marry the person you can’t live without!”
Sounds deep, right? But here’s the truth:
When you feel like you “can’t live without” someone, that often signals codependency or emotional desperation—not love.
It’s advice like this that keeps people stuck in toxic or unhealthy relationships. Even intelligent people can give foolish advice!
Secure Attachment Happens on Purpose
We often talk about falling in and out of love as if it happens quite accidentally—like it’s no one’s fault, and we don’t have control over it.
That’s because many people use emotional reasoning and confirmation bias when it comes to starting or ending relationships.
💭 Emotional reasoning – “Because I feel it, it must be true.”
🔍 Confirmation bias – The tendency to seek out and believe information that matches what you want to believe.
It’s easy to fall in love. It’s common to fall out of love. But staying in love takes intention and effort.
Someone recently asked me, “What’s the most important thing to look for in a person?”
My answer: Secure Attachment
Securely attached people are people you can live with because they know how to:
- Problem-solve
- Compromise
- Take turns and share
- Respect boundaries
- Forgive
- Offer grace
- Have a commitment to growth
No one accidently falls into a healthy relationship.
Secure attachment happens on purpose.
And if you feel stuck, we are here to help.
🙌 Thank You for Growing with Us
Thanks for being part of the How We Love community.
Keep learning, keep loving, and keep growing together.
With love and blessings,
Marc & Amy
Milan & Kay
