Non-compliance causes stress and tension builds in the Controller. Controllers can be rigid, easily angered and unpredictable. For the Controller, compliance and control create predictability, while unpredictability is a reminder of childhood trauma that can leave them feeling vulnerable. As a defense against vulnerable feelings of anxiety, shame or abandonment, the Controller quickly falls back to anger. It's safer to control the other partner because they don't know how to connect. The Controller has no empathy for themselves as to the suffering experienced during their childhood and often have many uncomforted wounds buried inside.