About Milan & Kay

For fourteen years our marriage was stuck in the same old frustrating patterns. When we looked at our first lessons in love from our families, we immediately recognized the unseen forces governing how we loved. For the first time, we understood the source of our frustrations and why we were stuck. Deep change was possible at last.

The insight we offer comes from making many mistakes and years of praying for wisdom. Our prayer is that soon you will discover what we have: the relief that comes from resolution, deep understanding, and comfort.” – Milan & Kay

Married in 1972, Milan and Kay have four children. When they aren’t writing and speaking they enjoy their five grandchildren. Milan and Kay most enjoy speaking together and have coauthored two books, How We Love (2006), and How We Love Our Kids (2011).


Milan, ordained minister and pastoral counselor, has devoted himself to working with families and couples for over thirty years. Milan holds his masters degree in Biblical Studies and his California teaching credential. He loves teaching the Bible, and lecturing on relational theology. He was a pastor for thirteen years, and previously worked as a pastoral counselor with the Center for Individual and Family Therapy.

In 2003 he became the full-time director of Relationship180, a non-profit organization devoted to counseling individuals and families toward healthy relationships. He also works as a radio co-host at New Life Ministries with Steven Arterburn, a nationwide counseling talkshow. In his spare time, Milan enjoys martial arts, biking and playing the guitar.


Kay is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She enjoyed her role as a stay at home mom for many years, and completed her master’s degree in Marriage and Family Counseling in 1993. Her specialty is treating couples using attachment theory as the foundation of her work. She is a popular speaker and lecturer in the areas of parenting and marriage relationships, and she supervises and trains other therapists. Kay also enjoys participating in a prison ministry.

Kay renews herself through ceramics, watercolor painting and designing jewelry. She is happiest sitting on the beach with a good book and a cup of Starbucks coffee.

“Milan and Kay have taken their own life experience, their research over the years, and their experience in the counseling office, and distilled it into the work that is rigorous, original, and understandable. If you want to strengthen and enrich your marriage, as well as grow personally, I strongly encourage you to read and digest this material. The effect on all your relationships will be powerful.”

– Dr. Jim Masteller, Executive director of the Center for Individual and Family Therapy