Use this category to send a blog post out as a newsletter.
I (Amy) think Gary Chapman’s observation is accurate—that people tend to give and desire to receive love through the five primary ways of physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and giving gifts.
But are these simply preferences we’re born with that others need to adjust around in order for us to feel loved and fulfilled? Or could there be something underneath the surface that shaped the ways we most want to give and receive love?
Affairs aren’t solely defined by a kiss or sex. In fact, entangled affairs often begin much more subtly.
There are several stages that typically occur before the physical boundary is ever crossed. Knowing what they are can help you recognize the warning signs early and better guard your marriage against an affair.
Have you ever heard someone say:
“It’s fine.”
“Leave me alone.”
“Whatever. Do what you want.”
“It doesn’t bother me anymore.”
When you know that they know that you know—that’s not really the truth.
When Amy was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2024, she began the keto diet with combined intermittent fasting for a while, and I decided to try it with her.
The keto diet involves replacing carbs with fat for for the body to burn for energy.
Have you ever looked forward to the weekend all week—only to have one small conflict derail the whole thing?
Sadly, for several years of our marriage, Amy and I had what I now call “The Weekend Conflict.”
It’s back-to-school season and I’m seeing many online posts of proud parents taking pictures of their child’s first day in a new grade.
And with each new grade comes an anticipation of a new stage of growth—not just academically or biologically, but in emotional maturity too.
Sometimes, there’s a good reason one spouse doesn’t want to be physically naked with the other.
If there’s been betrayal, abuse, untreated addiction, significant relational wounding without repentance, or coercion to do a specific sex act that is uncomfortable, sexual intimacy may need to pause while trust is rebuilt.
Have you ever noticed that when a person uses a “but” right after you’ve shared something, it can feel invalidating?
“I hear you, but…”
“I understand, but…”
“Yeah, but…”
What happens to everything that came before the “but”?
It almost disappears.
When a Vacillator falls in love, they fall quickly and deeply.
Why? Because Vacillators are relational idealists.
As children, they experienced connection that was inconsistent—an emotionally or physically unavailable parent. One who is either warm and engaging one moment, then distant the next. Or one who just isn’t around all the time.
Have you ever noticed that people don’t usually break an unhealthy relationship pattern because they finally understand their problem? They do so only once they’ve become exhausted by it.
There’s a saying we often use in therapy: People change when the cost of staying the same exceeds the cost of change.
