Working with Vacillators (October 2023)

The Vacillator love style often develops in childhood environments where emotional connection and attention were inconsistent. A parent may have been loving and attentive at times, yet distracted, unavailable, or emotionally disconnected at others. This inconsistency can leave a child longing for connection while developing a heightened sensitivity to disappointment, rejection, and abandonment. As adults, Vacillators may struggle with unrealistic relationship expectations, emotional reactivity, and difficulty regulating feelings of disappointment or disconnection. This training helps therapists, counselors, and coaches better understand the childhood wounds underlying the Vacillator love style, recognize how these patterns manifest in adult relationships, and develop effective strategies to help clients identify their triggers, regulate their emotions, and move toward greater attachment security and healthier relationships.

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