This is a common question in couples therapy, and one you may be wondering about too. But let’s be honest—when someone asks me, “How often should we be having sex?”, there’s more under that question than wanting to know just numbers.
Did you know the most common core pattern that brings couples to therapy is the Vacillator-Avoider dynamic? It’s also the most common pattern people purchase, so if this resonates with you—you’re not alone.
Recently, I’ve been working on something I call my “conflict resolution interval”—the time it takes for me to shift from a dysregulated state after a tough interaction with another person, to initiating repair.
Recently, Amy and I spent the day with friends at the iconic Getty Villa, nestled along the beautiful Pacific Palisades coastline here in Los Angeles. If you’ve never been, the story behind it is as grand as the view.
Earlier this summer, I (Amy) went to the beach with my son. As we claimed our spot and settled in, I noticed a cute couple in front of us. They had matching chairs, a stylish blanket, and looked very sweet together. She was basking in the sun while he was immersed in a book. A picture of contentment.
Do you know the leading cause of death in the U.S. and worldwide? Heart disease. But when it comes to marriage decline, the disease isn’t physical—it’s mental and emotional—and happens more in the mind.
A client recently shared a story about her growth efforts that stayed with me—and maybe it will with you too: She got a haircut she didn’t like. So, she went back to have it fixed. After she got home again, she still didn’t like it.
It’s Amy for this week. While traveling in Rome this summer, we had the unforgettable experience of doing a guided tour of the Colosseum. In our group was a sweet Australian family of five. About halfway through, panic struck—their oldest son had wandered off.
Last week, I had a minor operation on my right hand to remove a subcutaneous mass (that’s the fancy medical term for “we’re not totally sure what it is.”) Since it’s my dominant hand, I’m having to learn to do things with my left.
Before Amy and I left for our vacation last month, we made a promise to each other: we’d do our best not to argue—and if we did, we’d recover and repair quickly and intentionally. I’m happy to report, we kept our word!