As Thanksgiving approaches, I (Amy) find myself reflecting on how different this holiday looks now compared to when I was a kid. Back then, my only job was to roll out of bed, show up, eat incredible food, enjoy my family, and take a nap. Life was simple, and it was wonderful.
Let’s be honest—we all blow it at times. When we’re stressed, we can be impatient or easily annoyed. And sometimes, we just say the wrong thing without meaning to. Now here’s some interesting research from the Gottman Institute…
Amy and I had a conflict last week, which took longer than usual to resolve. We both got stuck, feeling we were more wronged and wanting the other to apologize first. We eventually resolved, but it took some humility.
Have you ever said or heard someone say, “I’m getting triggered!”? Most of us have — and usually what we mean is, “I’m getting angry and about to blow—so be warned!”
Milan and Kay transformed their relationship after they learned about childhood attachment styles and realized the ways they learned to connect with their parents back then were still influencing their behaviors, reactions, and expectations in adulthood.
Last Friday night, my 20-year-old daughter and I went to a popular major chain restaurant during the dinner rush. Told there was a long wait ahead, we scoped out the open-seating options in their bar area and saw a table waiting to pay their check.
Why is it so hard to walk away, even when we know a relationship isn’t right? Often it’s because we fall in love with the feeling of being in love—not necessarily another person.
This is a common question in couples therapy, and one you may be wondering about too. But let’s be honest—when someone asks me, “How often should we be having sex?”, there’s more under that question than wanting to know just numbers.
Did you know the most common core pattern that brings couples to therapy is the Vacillator-Avoider dynamic? It’s also the most common pattern people purchase, so if this resonates with you—you’re not alone.
Recently, I’ve been working on something I call my “conflict resolution interval”—the time it takes for me to shift from a dysregulated state after a tough interaction with another person, to initiating repair.