Why is it so hard to walk away, even when we know a relationship isn’t right? Often it’s because we fall in love with the feeling of being in love—not necessarily another person.
This is a common question in couples therapy, and one you may be wondering about too. But let’s be honest—when someone asks me, “How often should we be having sex?”, there’s more under that question than wanting to know just numbers.
Did you know the most common core pattern that brings couples to therapy is the Vacillator-Avoider dynamic? It’s also the most common pattern people purchase, so if this resonates with you—you’re not alone.
Recently, I’ve been working on something I call my “conflict resolution interval”—the time it takes for me to shift from a dysregulated state after a tough interaction with another person, to initiating repair.
Recently, Amy and I spent the day with friends at the iconic Getty Villa, nestled along the beautiful Pacific Palisades coastline here in Los Angeles. If you’ve never been, the story behind it is as grand as the view.
Earlier this summer, I (Amy) went to the beach with my son. As we claimed our spot and settled in, I noticed a cute couple in front of us. They had matching chairs, a stylish blanket, and looked very sweet together. She was basking in the sun while he was immersed in a book. A picture of contentment.