The Comfort Circle is a communication tool that builds listening skills and slows a conversation down so a couple can learn to control reactivity and stay engaged in difficult conversations. Reactivity (fight, freeze, flee) derails successful conversations. It’s different from a normal conversation because the listener stays in the listener role for an extended period of time. The Comfort Circle generates meaningful conversations creating bonding and leading to secure connection. We think it’s so important that we have created this video which explains the steps around the Comfort Circle. You can also watch us work with a couple as we coach them through the Comfort Circle.
Tools for the Comfort Circle
Guided Comfort Circle
Watch Kay lead a couple through a comfort circle and discover the root of their core complaint about each other.
Comfort Circle Guide for the Listener
This worksheet guide helps to increase self-awareness by allowing feelings to surface in order to observe, describe and understand them without judging them as right or wrong, good or bad. Use this worksheet for journaling to deepen your awareness.
Addressing and Solving a Problem: Guide for the Listener.
Listener: Ask ALL the questions below writing down the answers. Stay in the listener role until you ask every question then switch roles.
Speaker: use list of soul words. (Don’t skip this step!) After you both listen, use the Resolution Page to consider possible resolutions and decisions.
Resolution: Repairing After a Rupture
This resource will help guide you into your goal to restore connection after an argument or conflict.
Soul Words
A helpful word-reference guide that enables you to accurately describe your feelings (Avoiders will really love this!).