How Do You Resist Growth?
Amy and I had a conflict last week, which took longer than usual to resolve. We both got stuck, feeling we were more wronged and wanting the other to apologize first. We eventually resolved, but it took some humility.
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Understanding Emotional Triggers and How to Stop Them
Have you ever said or heard someone say, “I’m getting triggered!”? Most of us have — and usually what we mean is, “I’m getting angry and about to blow—so be warned!”
Can You Get Around the Comfort Circle?
Milan and Kay transformed their relationship after they learned about childhood attachment styles and realized the ways they learned to connect with their parents back then were still influencing their behaviors, reactions, and expectations in adulthood.
How Do You Handle Confrontation?
Last Friday night, my 20-year-old daughter and I went to a popular major chain restaurant during the dinner rush. Told there was a long wait ahead, we scoped out the open-seating options in their bar area and saw a table waiting to pay their check.
Why Is It So Hard to End a Bad Dating Relationship?
Why is it so hard to walk away, even when we know a relationship isn’t right? Often it’s because we fall in love with the feeling of being in love—not necessarily another person.
What’s A Healthy Frequency for A Couple to Have Sex?
This is a common question in couples therapy, and one you may be wondering about too. But let’s be honest—when someone asks me, “How often should we be having sex?”, there’s more under that question than wanting to know just numbers.
Are You Stuck in the Vacillator-Avoider Core Pattern?
Did you know the most common core pattern that brings couples to therapy is the Vacillator-Avoider dynamic? It’s also the most common pattern people purchase, so if this resonates with you—you’re not alone.
What’s Your Conflict Resolution Interval?
Recently, I’ve been working on something I call my “conflict resolution interval”—the time it takes for me to shift from a dysregulated state after a tough interaction with another person, to initiating repair.
Are You a Collector or a Connector?
Recently, Amy and I spent the day with friends at the iconic Getty Villa, nestled along the beautiful Pacific Palisades coastline here in Los Angeles. If you’ve never been, the story behind it is as grand as the view.
Do You Know Your Triggers?
Earlier this summer, I (Amy) went to the beach with my son. As we claimed our spot and settled in, I noticed a cute couple in front of us. They had matching chairs, a stylish blanket, and looked very sweet together. She was basking in the sun while he was immersed in a book. A picture of contentment.