Are You a Secure Connector?
While the insecure Love Styles represent different forms of emotional injury that drive disconnection in relationships, Secure Connectors are comfortable with reciprocity—balanced giving and receiving. They foster connection by not always putting their needs first, while still honoring them. When mistakes happen, they understand that imperfection is part of being human and can take responsibility and apologize when they are wrong. They are also able to recognize and describe both strengths and weaknesses in themselves and others without idealizing or devaluing.
Skilled in self-reflection, Secure Connectors understand their emotions and take responsibility for regulating them. They communicate their feelings and needs clearly and openly. Setting boundaries and saying “no” is not a problem for them, and they are willing to take healthy risks and can delay gratification. When distressed, they are able to seek support and comfort without feeling shame for doing so, because they trust that connection, not isolation, is the healthiest way to manage pain.
