PDF Download: Goes beyond the information in the book and provides an in-depth look at the reactive core pattern between the Controller and Avoider. It includes a diagram of this core pattern, explanations of the predictable interactions and all applicable interventions to move out of this destructive, reactive cycle.
The Controller is often attracted to the even mood and low level of reactivity in the Avoider. Initially, the Avoider may enjoy someone who takes charge and makes decisions but over time Avoiders will view the Controller’ “take charge” manner as intrusive and irritating rather than protective and caring. The Avoider’s distancing and evasive maneuvers will make the Controller feel like they cannot monitor the situation. The Controller survived childhood by keeping alert, watchful and monitoring the mood and behavior of others. Now we have two people triggering one another and the frustrating reactive cycle repeats.
If you are interested in the complete series, this PDF is also included as part of the Attachment Core Pattern Therapy – Complete Series set.