The Secure Connector 15 – Boundaries


Trait: I can say no and draw boundaries even when it makes someone mad.

This one is very hard for Pleasers and Victims.   Because of fear, Pleasers and Victims freeze when intimidated or threatened.  This can vary from mild to severe and in the most extreme cases, their brains and bodies will lock up within a nanosecond which will render them helpless and ineffective in stressful situations.  May I say from firsthand experience, than when triggered like this as I child, I simply stammered and stuttered and could not formulate a coherent thought.

One day it occurred to me that the goal of life in a broken world was not harmony as I had thought for many years, but rather it was truth. That day I decided that I would have to get used to people not liking me… just like Jesus who had many people walk away from Him.   From that point on, it became something I practiced every day, and now it is much easier to have an adult voice, represent myself and start my very own collection of people who don’t like me.

            I also began the process of learning how to say no physically by studying Kung Fu.   The simultaneous emotional and physical work proved to be an invaluable combination to my emotional, spiritual and physical development. If you are interested knowing more about martial arts, please join us sometime at our Kung Fu studio.  Please visit our web site .


  1. If you know anyone who needs a job, I highly recommend Get Noticed And Get Hired by Steve Matter.  You can order his book at and you can also find further information at his web site:
  2. Call for silent auction items:   Our non-profit organization is having our annual fundraiser on November 3rd to raise funds to help pastors and Christian leaders receive marital counseling who would otherwise be unable to pay for counseling.  Items desired, golf packages, weekend retreats, spa packages, vacation time shares and other items that would be attractive to a guest at the banquet. If you would like to know more about our 501 (C ) 3 corporation, you can visit  Thanks for considering my request.
  3. If you would like to sponsor and host a table at the event for $900.00 or become a corporate or individual sponsor @ $1,000 – $5,000, please let me know.

Thanks for listening.

Love you,