The Gift of Honesty
I’m going to start the New Year sharing a beautiful poem one of my dearest clients wrote for me.
She came from a very abusive background and had no experience of emotionally healthy bonding growing up.
It’s taken years of therapy for her to trust love and let it inside.
She is an amazing writer and captured the essence of love in these lines.
I’ll share one or two stanzas a week, as I think we have a lot to learn about love through her words.
I’ll be challenging you to examine your most important relationships in light of her words. At the end of the month, you’ll have a copy of the entire poem.
“You are gusts of gentleness
Cool, swift movements of grace.
You are drops of truth
Wet, clean pieces of trust,
Truthfulness is essential to any healthy relationship because it’s foundational to trust.
Secrets, deceit, omissions, and lies break down the very foundation of a relationship.
In the Bible, Satan is called the “Father of Lies”. Jesus is called the “Word of Truth”.
Don’t miss the descriptive word that depicts how the truth is delivered in this poem.
“Drops of truth” not a fire-hose.
This is wise, as drops of truth are just about what we can tolerate in one conversation. We tend to deliver too much truth at once (and often not so gently) when we have stored up anger and hurt and finally the damn breaks and we unleash. This is why Eph. 4:26 tells us not to let the sun go down on our anger. This does not mean have a fight at 11:00 at night when the chances of a good outcome are about zero. This verse is instructing us to keep very short accounts and deal with hurt and anger promptly.
Truth is indeed wet, clean and washes away dark secrets and places of hiding.
Temporarily, truth can hurt more than ignorance or denial.
The benefit of truthfulness is it makes healing possible.
Confession is another way of truth telling. It means we take time to evaluate our selves and how we behave toward others and toward God. Confession washes away guilt, shame and is the beginning of restitution when we have wronged those we love.
Milan & Kay
Next Week: Next stanza of my friend’s beautiful poem.