Teaching Your Kids About Sex – Part 3
The next four weeks are titled, Teaching Your Kids About Sex.
It is a big topic and there is certainly a lot to be say, but I (Kay) will focus on some of the areas we see parents struggling.
Who taught you about sex?
How did they do?
What would you have liked to change about the whole experience?
Think about these questions as a way of preparing yourself to teach your kids about sex.
Extroverted kids are much more likely than introverts to satisfy their curiosity by asking questions about sex. A good starting place for parents is to sit down as a couple and plan as to how you want to handle sexual questions so you are prepared when opportunities arise. Some questions (at any age) may catch you off guard and if this happens, you might respond by saying, “That is a great and very important question.” Let’s think of a good time we could talk about that.” You can give yourself some space this way to prepare, but don’t ignore the question. Set the time.
Personally, the earlier you start using appropriate names for body parts and talking about God’s design the better. A preschooler who sees a pregnant mom can be told, “It is wonderful how God helps a baby grow inside a mommy. The daddy gives a part of himself to a special place inside the mommy. At first the baby is so small and then grows and grows. When the baby is big enough, it comes out the mommy’s vagina. You can add on to this beginning with more information as the child gets older.
Many parents like to use books as a way of giving information. This is a great idea if you can find some books you are comfortable with. I don’t make personal recommendations on this book or that book because I believe parents should go look through books and purchase ones they are comfortable reading and discussing.
If kids can write, you might ask them to write all they know about sex, what they have heard from their friends and what questions or things are confusing or unclear.
How should a parent initiate a conversation about sex (at any age) if the child does not ask question?
Well then, you are going to have to initiate.
Here is an example. Lot’s of kids hear other kids at school or in the neighborhood talk about sex, or how babies are made. Some kids have the right answers about sex, and some are just guessing, or have the wrong answers. It is important for mom and dad to teach you all about sex so you have the right information. We can also talk about what you can do when kids want to talk about this subject.
In addition parents, help your kids be prepared for how to handle pornography. In my opinion (it is just that) by third grade you need to address this subject. Almost all boys (and many girls) will be exposed at some age to pictures on the internet. Now we can get the internet on our cell phones. Yikes…one more place for show and shock. Here is an example of how to approach this subject. Tell you kids, “Someday someone may ask you to look at pictures on a computer or phone of people with no clothes on. People who make these pictures don’t believe in God. You need to leave right away if this happens and come tell mom and dad about it. You won’t be in trouble, we just want to help you with your feelings about it.”
Thanks & Love,
Milan and Kay
Next week: Talking with adolescent boys about pornography.