Send Milan and Kay an Answer…

We have been asking this question to lots of people and we want to hear from you. So PLEASE respond…it will only take a few minutes.

First jot down your age, love style, sex (M/F) and number of years you have been a believer. Then answer the following question:

When have you felt the most loved by God? Not when have YOU felt love for Him but rather when and how have you felt HIs love for you? Don’t write more than a paragraph.  Please  don’t forget to start with your age,  Love style, sex, and number of years you have been a Christian.  THANK YOU!




33 Responses to “Send Milan and Kay an Answer…”

64 yrs old/Vascilator/F/58 years

By age 15 I was so completely surrendered to God that I started talking to him the moment
I woke up and it continued throughout the day until I went to sleep thinking about him.
Our home life was in such turmoil that I felt confused about why it still continued 24/7.
I became very independent and lived my life only for him and didn’t really feel a part of
the conditions at home. My life was identified with Christ from the age of 16 until now.

37, (former) Vacillator, Female, believer for 21 years. I have felt most loved by God in the aftermath of confessing multiple affairs to my husband, including one which lasted nearly 5 years. God’s grace, mercy and incredible love was more evident and tangible to me during the healing and restoration process than it had ever been before. By God’s incredible grace and power, I am proud to say that my husband and I are still married. He forgave me after 2 1/2 years of working through the hurt and we renewed our vows on the 3 year anniversary of my confession. About 4 months after our renewal ceremony, we decided to start a family and we now have a beautiful 8-month old baby boy whose name means “Rock of God’s Love”.

53 years old/Pleaser/F/43 years

I have felt the most loved by God when I talk/pray with Him, which is often throughout my day. Some of my prayers are very emotional but I do not feel judged by Him. Sometimes I wonder if He’s really listening since positive, definite answers seem so long in coming. I feel loved when I take the time to read scriptures that affirm He is listening. It is the freedom to be who I really am, messy emotions, tears and all, that help me know I am loved by God. I also feel loved when I look at all the beauty in my area.

I’m 65, female, a vacillator and have been a Christian for nearly 50 years.
I find the times I feel most loved by God when I am in a crisis situation. Because this is the time I feel most vulnerable, I turn to Him specifically because I know when left to my own resources (emotions let loose), I can get myself into a real state. So I turn to Him to stabilize me. While I feel disappointed in others, I usually don’t blame Him for my trouble even when I’m going through a difficult testing time! How do you figure for a vacillator?

Age: 53
Love style: Avoider, Vacillator (I think these are mine)
Sex: Male
Number of years you have been a Christian: 40 years.
When and how have I felt HIs love for me:
1. 1973 – When I first received Christ, I felt enveloped and loved deep inside, like the feeling of a warm oven mitt. I felt God’s loving hand soothing and rubbing me inside my soul, and the majority of my stuttering left at that time.

2. 2008 – Living Waters ministry (part of Regeneration is a Christ-centered ministry that works alongside the local church to help men and women live lives of sexual integrity—from the heart). I had attended this 9 month program because I was seeking freedom and deep healing from issues related to sexual sin and sexual and relational brokenness.

During this time, as I meditated on the Cross of Christ and His Love for me to set me free from shame, I had the revelation in a very personally felt manner that “Jesus is not ashamed of my shame, sin and brokenness.” This came to my realization from Matthew 27:34 they gave Him sour wine mingled with gall to drink. But when He had tasted it, He would not drink. — I felt Jesus personally and clearly impress upon me that “I refused the medicated cup of vinegar mixed with gall and myrrh (the sopor) because I did not want to deaden the pangs of the suffering of feeling your shame and sin and sin. With ‘eyes wide open’, I refused this cup, that My senses might be clear, because I insisted on taking your sin, shame and brokenness into Myself.” This naturally birthed within me the desire to give him my sin, shame and brokenness to honor His determined love for me.

Then, just before He passed out, He took wine in John 19:28-30, because He wanted to determine to voluntarily say “It is Finished!” and give up spirit for me.

I remember feeling, like in 1973 after my initial conversion, the same clean and joyful feeling inside of me.

Sometimes I struggle because I want the same remarkable feelings of freedom, cleansing and joy. So as I daily press into Jesus through praise, I chose to enter into.


My understanding of God’s love for me began a couple years ago. I would go for walks and talk with Him, feeling very inadequate. I could see Him grinning and I asked why. He told me that he thinks I’m swell and I bring Him much joy. I reminded Him how inadequate I was because I always messed up. He told me He didn’t care; He still saw me as a delight even when I mess up. Another time I was self-harming during the middle of winter. The window was open and I could smell spring air which caught my attention. Feeling much shame, I took notice of God, half expecting him to have His arms folded over his chest with a look of disappointment. Instead, what I saw were tears in His eyes and His heart aching over my hurting heart. He said, “Oh, Angie, Angie….How I love you.” I could feel His compassion and love for me like non I’d ever known. THAT’s the love of my Father (Heavenly Father)

64 years old/secure connector/60 years
I felt God’s love for me the most when I was going through a painful divorce at age 37. I had the realization that God’s love was even deeper than my deepest pain.

47 Yr old Female/recovering Vacillator/Believer for 16 1/2 years.

I felt God’s pure love for me many times, starting when I starting reading the Bible and studying with other Believers in 1996. The most powerful time I have felt His love for me, for ME, was working on a Bible study called “Loved By God” by Liz Curtis Higgs. That was 11 years ago. Love you Milan and Kay! Your book has been a powerful tool of healing in my life!

51 y/o , Pleaser/Victim, F, 31 yrs.

Felt most loved by God when I am so alone and when I am struggling in pain especially the ones caused by my wrong choices and decisions.

I Feel the most loved by GOD when I walk the path HE chose for me, and people that I touch ask:” How did you know?”. It fills like He is embracesing me and holding me tight, Like a Big winter fur coat, in a minus tempratures.

42 years young, Pleaser, F, 8 yrs
When I think about all the things I did as a young women and see His hands there always to lift me up and out of my situations that could have been bad. To this day when things happen in my life I do not think coincidence I know its all God. I did not grow up with a dad and at a womens retreat one day I realized my heavenly Father has always been with me.

54 y/o, Pleaser/Vascilator, M, Believer 46 yrs
I felt the most loved by God when I was 10 or 11 years old. After family chaos, harsh words from my parents (or just listening to them fight) I would go to my room and read about the life of Joesph in my bible. It gave me great comfort seeing how God worked many difficult circumstances to Joesph’s benefit.

37 years old, Vacillator, Female, 20 years
I felt most loved by God when I think of his holiness and when I think of myself (in light of that, my sins etc) and then when I think of him giving up Jesus for me. It blows me away. Usually, I find myself reflecting on this at night before bed or when I wake up during the night. And this has been very recent (as in last year into this new year). Thanks!

52.9 yrs, F. Vacillator, 44yrs. I don’t really feel God’s love much. I think I need to cultivate more gratitude, and then I’ll be blessed with feeling His love for me. I have lost a lot in my life due to ingratitude and poor choices. Most of the time I feel alone and stuck and realize I need God’s grace to get unstuck and become productive again. I have developed “conditions” you wrote about in your most recent blog, and also depression- no surprise. You both have this nailed down!

30, Pleaser, F, 24 years.

I’ve felt most loved by God during worship sessions. The one time that really stands out to me was when I was a teenager at Winter Camp. It was a particularly moving worship service and I was feeling lost.

Hi, Im Greg and a Vacillator, christian 33 years. Married. Most of my walk with God has been trying to earn His love and approval. If someone gave me a test on what the Gospel was I would have got an A on the test but I didn’t experience God’s Grace until about 4 years ago while watching Pastor Joseph Prince. I started to really believe that I was God’s beloved and that Its not about me, its about Him and What He did. Not my love for Him its all about His love for me. That is what changed me. Finally I’m at rest. I received Salvation through resting in what He did, Why did I expect to receive anything else from Him in any other way?? I feel most loved when I learned to Let Go. All Him.

46, vacillator, F, 40yrs
I felt his love most when I sought help in our church counseling ministry for my anger issues that were destroying my family. At this time several women stepped into the pain of my past abuse and offered comfort through their words and their embrace. My mom always disengaged when I presented painful emotions that were a result of the wounds that I was experiencing as a child, so to have people stay engaged and show empathy and offer emotional and physical comfort for these painful things opened a door for me to connect to God’s love for me.

37, avoider/pleaser/victim F, 8yrs

I had always been ruled by fear, and I didn’t know God’s love, just feared what I would lose without Him. When I felt his love for the first time, was 3 yrs ago, my husband was in a fit of rage and calling me every abusive, nasty word he could muster. God have me the strength to sit still and hear only HIS words telling me the things my husband was saying were not true, that i was HIS daughter that HE loved, HIS perfect creation with flaws for which I was forgiven of, HE said the things my husband was saying the devil tricked him to believe were true, not what he really believed. God gave me to the power to embrace my husband once he was done and forgive him, will he wept. Only with God can we see the truth behind the lies.

41/Vascillator/F/8 yrs

When I take time to reflect on my life and look out over the footprints of the steps I have taken in life – the stops, starts, turns, and circles I have made – and see, undeniably, how God has guided me, protected me from unseen evil, and continues to do so today, this is when I feel most loved by God. That I know, without a doubt, He loves me and He ALWAYS has, even when I didn’t believe.

29/Vascillator/F/20 years

I think that I have felt the most loved by God when I realized that He did not hold me to the same standards that other people, especially other Christians did. I have Asperger’s and have also struggled with anorexia and depression in the past (and sometimes off and on now.) Most other people simply want me to be “normal” and get frustrated by me. God is always there for me and always understands me, even when no one else does. The little ways that God has shown me His grace, mercy, and favor everyday in spite of myself is when I have felt most loved.

I feel Gods love through my connections with people, especially those of my loved ones. Being vulnerable and letting be vulnerable with my children. Watching them grow and develop. I feel loved by God for this blessing, and so grateful.

71/recovering Avoider/F/40 yrs
Over my lifetime as a Christian I have felt God’s love in times of crisis and need but I feel most loved in the little things that happen when I least expect them. When I have prayed about something and it is answered in a most unexpected way that I know came directly from Him. Or the times that I have not prayed and I get a message of encouragement or something serendipitous and I am overwhelmed that He cared enough for me to send it to me when I didn’t even think to ask.

61 / vacillator (recovering 🙂 / F / 37 yrs
I want to give two most common times :). I feel loved during some of my devotional times where I am having a special insight about Him and His acceptance and understanding of me. This gives me a deeper picture of His character. The other time is when I can see Him being able to use me to encourage/help/support someone. I feel special, valued, humbled, thankful, fulfilled. Speaking of love-I love you guys. You have played a key role in changing my life. God bless you-I mean it from the bottom of my heart.

30/Pleaser/F/15 years

I have felt most loved by God when he turns my situations around and puts people in my life that are unexpected/pleasant surprises. I can think of a time in college I was crying and a stranger started talking to me/comforting me..she became a best friend for life. I felt loved that God would care enough about me to send me this girl. Recently, God has placed an awesome man in my life and I cannot even explain it..I feel so loved by God through that….I guess I just feel reminded that God hasn’t given up on me when sometimes I feel like I have given up on myself.

50 /Vacillator/F/16 years

I have been most loved by God when I think about the horrific trauma I experienced throughout my life growing up (sexual abuse from 7-14, neglect, alcoholic home, parents divorce (3 times divorced, mother), family of 8, violence in the home from birth), and how God has brought healing and hope and given me a willingness to heal and persevere and love deeply, in spite of it all! I feel joy and share this joy. When people hear my story they don’t understand how that’s possible, and my response is….”I don’t either”!

I have been most loved by God when I came to the end of myself and God swooped me up by pursuing me when I was isolating and in deep despair. He caused me to cry out to Him,,,literally…I said, “God, if You want me to get up in the morning You will have to make it so, because I won’t be able to do it. I won’t be able to be happy or smile.

I have been most loved by God when He drew me to Himself and spoke to my heart and told me that I was forgiven, loved, accepted, adequate, significant, and pleasing to Him because He created me…He caused me to believe this deep in my heart…He chose me! This was just the beginning!

I have been most loved by God when He brought How We Love into my life and He began teaching me through it what His love looks like….God enabled and continues to enable me to apply His idea of love in my marriage in practical ways. On January 26th my husband and I were married 29 years!!!

49/Pleaser/F/39 years
I have felt God’s love in amazing ways in recent years, mostly through the love of others that has been shown to me. But I also have had moments where I felt his love towards me through quiet moments in nature, when I’m able to sit and be still and am aware that God loves me just as I am.

I am 22 years old, a pleaser/vacillator combination, female, and I have been a believer for 6 years (although, I have been actively living out my faith for the past 4 years since coming to college). I feel Gods love the most when I am bonding with my best friend (I can tell her anything and know I won’t be judged), writing poetry, and watching Christian movies that portray Christ as a real human being (highly recommend watching The Encounter).

As much as I loved the concept of vulnerability, it was not until I was able to actually put it into practice by sharing EVERYTHING I struggle with my best friend. She really hears and understands where I am coming from, and that means the world to me. We help strengthen each of our walks with the Lord this way (Proverbs 27:17).

I feel Christ’s love when I am writing poetry because I know He reads every line and verse that I write. I feel like God has blessed me with the passion for writing because it is how I give thanks to Him, as well as express my deepest sorrows in my journal. Once I have my feelings written down, I can more effectively share it with my best friend.

I also really feel Christ’s love when I watch movies about Christ’s life. I love to SEE how much He loves me when it is portrayed in a movie with a storyline. Sometimes Scripture can seem like an ancient Book, so I really love when it comes to life on film. Seeing an actor portray Jesus wearing denim jeans is so cool! Our God is an active and living God, and I just love how His love is timeless.

I hope I answered the question correctly!

50 years old, Female, Recovering Vacillator, 34 years Christian, married to a lovely recovering Avoider/Pleaser for 30 years 🙂

I feel most loved by God when we are interacting on a deeply personal and intimate level via worship, our journal time together and mediating on His Word… He listens extensively, He summarizes, He validates, He asks just the right, probing questions, He helps me to own and state my true feelings and thoughts and then to make my requests (Phil 4)… we go deeper and deeper and I bond with Him in His secret place. He wraps His arms around me, always faithful and consistently available. He promises to never leave me or forsake me. He is indeed my Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. He heals my broken heart and binds up my wounds. He gets to the root of and removes my shame (Isa 54). In His love, I am free to love.

43/F/Avoider/Christ follower 30 years
I am almost equally Avoider and Pleaser so I have not dealt with emotions very well. I don’t know that I have ever even thought about when I have felt God’s love for me. It took me quite awhile to even formulate an answer. I think I can recall feeling loved by God after times of confession in my personal quiet time of reading his word and journaling. I believe I also experienced it shortly after I married when my husband said he had made a mistake. Of course I was devastated and grieved, but remember a time of meditation where I felt his love for me overwhelmingly and it helped me to go on.

20/Female/Vacillator-Pleaser/Jesus Follower for 13 years

I have felt the most loved by God in the current season I am in now. He has used other people to make me feel the most loved I have ever felt in my life. Knowing that I am a vacillator, I desire close proximity to those around me, I LOVE hugs. This has been a season of brokenness and growth for me and I am right in the middle of it, but the hugs, tears, encouragement and love from my mom, sister, dad, group leader, and close friends has been what’s been getting me through each and every day, each and every hour. God is really showing me himself in this season and I’m thankful.

Hello Milan and Kay,

I am 22 years old, a recovering Pleaser, female, and I have been a Christian since I was 16, so six years. God speaks to my heart in several ways, mostly through poetry and Christian movies. I feel God’s love when I write Him love letters about all He has done in my life. I feel very connected to God when I am giving Him praise through my poetry. I also feel Gods love on a very personal level when I watch movies like The Encounter (highly recommend). Movies that portray Jesus in modern times with Him wearing jeans and a t-shirt melt my heart. Our God is a timeless and personal God, so I feel His love when I can see Jesus portrayed in a more relatable way. Although, none of these ways are more meaningful than when I can bond with my family and friends by sharing our feelings about how we experience Gods love daily.



70, Controller, M, 46 years.
The “felt the most loved by God” and when “I most loved Him” seem to be the same for me. When He answers a BIG prayer, I have a BIG appreciation for the love, compassion, understanding and mercy of our God and our Savior and our HS/Helper. My FIRST prayer as a Christian (1968) was a simple two-part request. But it came when I finally gave my whole heart to the Lord and there was a real conversion experience in my Air Force BOQ room. Then there were two questions on my heart.
I didn’t realize until people told me later that my prayer was an “asking-a-lot-and-many-don’t-get-such-answers-on-a-timeline!” I simply asked God to show me whether I’d be single or married for the rest of my life (so I could adjust accordingly) BY THE END OF THAT YEAR! Oh, and the second was if He wouldn’t mind giving me a Bible I could understand, IF that was His Word (it was/is), because I didn’t understand that King James stuff.
By the end of that year I not only knew, but was married to the love of my life (still am) and we’ve been of one mind and heart in the Lord for a fabulous 45 years. Oh, and she loaned me her Amplified Bible, completing my second request. This set the stage for other needed answers in our life together, and I’ve never been so appreciative and felt such love toward our God, who cares, answers and puts up with us “kinda-weird-humans!”
Not ALL His other, later answers were, “YES,” but all of them were given with love and the Spirit helped me understand many of them. The rest of the “non-Yes” answers He provided (“No” or “Wait”) will wait until I get an explanation in Heaven.

45, Pleaser, female, all my life and closer every day

When studying about Christ’s baptism I read the words, “This is My Beloved Son, in Whom I am well pleased” and this commentary about it from the book, “The Desire of Ages” by Ellen White, p 113. “And the word that was spoken to Jesus at the Jordan, “This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased,” embraces humanity. God spoke to Jesus as our representative. With all our sins and weaknesses, we are not cast aside as worthless…. The voice which spoke to Jesus says to every believing soul, This is My beloved child, in whom I am well pleased. “

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