Holding Time: Exercise # 3 Holder: Hold your spouse until you are both relaxed and your breathing is in sync. Ask your spouse to describe a current stressor. Ask them to pick three words off the list of Soul Words to describe how that stressor makes them feel. Listen and empathize. Don’t fix or problem […]
Holding Time: Exercise #2 Favorite Memories Holder: Hold your spouse until you are both relaxed and your breathing is in sync. Then make eye contact by asking your spouse to look into your eyes. Share a positive, special memory with your spouse that has meaning for you. Be aware and try to communicate as much […]
Holding Time Part 4 Here are some specific ways to try a holding. Our advice is to make a clear distinction between holding and sex. We all need nurturing, comforting touch that isn’t sexual. Learn to communicate directly as a couple and make it clear when you want to give or receive touch that is […]
For those of you that don’t know, my dad, Milan Yerkovich, is a gifted Bible Teacher. With all the amazing work my parents are doing with Counseling, Marriage/Parenting Speaking Engagements & Radio, daddy’s Bible classes have been harder to squeeze in. We have been begging dad to teach again. (Steve and I last took this […]
For Vacillators Since a vacillator longs for connection you might think they would be excited about holding time. Since Vacillators want connection without being vulnerable it can feel like a risky proposition. What if I like it and my spouse never offers again? What if I feel too exposed? Asking directly for what they want […]
Why is Holding Difficult for Avoiders or Pleasers? For Avoiders Avoiders find holding time awkward as they most often grew up with parents who showed minimal to no affection and offered little comfort. If coached, they may be willing to try and hold their spouse, but certainly would not ask for a holding in return. One […]
This month we are talking about holding time. This is by far one of the most important skills we ever learned in our marriage. We always demonstrate a holding time in our workshops and the responses range from excitement to downright terror. We have had some interesting responses from our readers on this subject. Some […]
Before we continue, here is point #3 about being an adult around your parents during the holidays: 3. You can set boundaries and say “No,” to your parents even if you get a poor response. Let’s begin by reviewing what boundaries are all about. Henry Cloud and John Townsend have written extensively on the topic […]
December 10, 2015 We are discussing how adult or child-like we feel and act around our parents. Last week we discussed the roles we played in our families growing up and pondered if we are still playing that role as an adult. Here is our second point about being an adult around our parents. Point […]
Surviving the Holidays Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! Tis the season to be jolly….right? If only it were that easy. The holiday season can be challenging especially if you have difficult family members whose behavior is predictably problematic. Perhaps those challenging folks are your parents. For the next few weeks let’s focus on dealing with […]