Milan & Kay's Blog

How We Love Sex…or Don’t – The Secure Connector

How We Love Sex…or Don’t Here is Where You are Headed… THE SECURE CONNECTOR: These individuals endorse romantic, affectionate sexual behaviors and are more likely to engage their partner to deepen their bond by pleasuring one another. Secure individuals are more likely to seek and value intimacy and have sex for these reasons. Since secure […]


HOW WE LOVE SEX…..OR DON”T In this workshop we discuss the five love styles and the common sexual problems each faces. If a couple cannot open up emotionally and spiritually the sexual relationship will reflect that difficulty. A lot of us bare our bodies in a sexual encounter without ever having exposed much of our […]

Therapist Training – July 11th in Mission Viejo

Hello All, Kay and I are teaching our six hour therapist workshop in two weeks in Mission Viejo, CA and we wanted you to know about it! Here is what it’s all about: • This course equips Psychologists, MFTs, LCSWs, interns and Pastoral Counselors to use attachment theory as a framework for couple’s therapy. Presenting […]

“The Safety Pyramid.” – Part 8

“The Safety Pyramid.” – Part 8 This topic has prompted several of you come up with some really great questions. Additionally, I can be confusing and quite unclear at times prompting more questions. When this happens I play the “nut loose behind the keyboard” card. Me! Either way, it’s fun to hear from you and […]

“The Safety Pyramid.” – Part 7

Having experienced a severe Gall Bladder attack on April 1st, I was told by the ER Doctor that it should be removed ASAP due to the discovery of multiple gall stones which could dislodge at any time. I said “Gall Darn!” and followed their instruction. I’m two weeks post op and feel great. An internal […]

How We Love Workshop – This weekend in Mission Viejo, CA

How We Love Workshop – This weekend in Mission Viejo, CA Are you tired of arguing with your spouse over the same old issues? Do you dream of a marriage with less conflict and more intimacy? Are there relationships in your life that you would love to improve? Are you struggling under a load of […]

“The Safety Pyramid.” – Part 6

“The Safety Pyramid.” – Part 6 Adults from the enmeshed home will often find themselves in unhealthy and often dangerous relationships. They are lacking the navigational skills necessary to protect themselves (and others) because they dive in too deep and too fast. When she was young, Joni Erickson Tada dove into shallow water, thinking it […]

NEW SERIES! – Turning Stress into Opportunities for Emotional Connection

How do you respond when family members, friends or co-workers are stressed? How do others react to you when you are stressed? Learning to manage difficult emotions is crucial to maintaining healthy relationships. In this three hour workshop, Milan and Kay discuss how we can better identify stress responses in ourselves, and others, and recognize […]

“The Safety Pyramid.” – Part 5

“The Safety Pyramid.” – Part 5 This week, let’s talk about how someone from a background like MaryH can choose to grow and become more mature and relationally successful. Recall that she describes her family of origin as a place where she was “taught to protect and wall in.” Inherently she knows: “it’s wrong but […]

“The Safety Pyramid.” – Part 4

“The Safety Pyramid.” – Part 4 Last week we received a two part question from MaryH, and we addressed the first part in last week’s post. This week, let’s look at the part of the question where she asks “I was raised in a family where we were taught to protect and wall in. I […]