Milan & Kay's Blog

“Learning To Leave Your Parents!”

“Learning To Leave Your Parents!” (Relating to them as an adult.) Part 1 Introduction:             God’s goal for marriage is a bond of love between husband and wife with the subsequent formulation of a new and independent family unit that stands accountable to God. Satan’s desire is to destroy all of God’s purposes and designs. […]

Holding Time: The Key to Better Sex

Holding Time:  The Key to Better Sex I was doing a weekend intensive for couples and during our last group session I wanted to demonstrate a holding time. One of the couples volunteered to let me work with them and four other couples watched. (If you are wondering what holding looks like, look on page […]

Holding Time for Vacillators and Controllers.

Why Holding is Difficult for Each Love Style This month we are talking about holding time. People with different love styles approach holding from very different perspectives. Holding Time for Vacillators and Controllers. Both Vacillators and Controllers tend to bury all their tender more vulnerable emotions underneath anger. Why? Because, childhood experiences of unpredictability and […]

Holding Time – Avoiders and Pleasers

Why Holding is Difficult for Each Love Style This month we are talking about holding time. People with different love styles approach holding from very different perspectives. This week we will look at how Avoiders and Pleasers approach and react to holding time. Avoiders: Avoiders are willing to give to a certain extent and holding […]

Parenting and the Love Styles

God’s Amazing Design for Bonding Our fourth grandchild was born two weeks ago. Here are the stats since we know you all are dying to know. Girl:  Name, Holland Heather Kay Yerkovich (wow) she will be 10 before she can write it. Weight:  7 pounds 10 oz Birthday:  Dec. 28, 2007 at 1:19 pm.    Nice […]

Psalm 133

I was reading Psalm 133 today.  Here is what it says: “My heart is not proud, O Lord.  My eyes are not haughty. I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But, I have stilled and quieted my soul like a weaned child with its mother. Like a weaned […]

Men and Holding Time

Men and Holding Time This month we are talking about holding time. We had some interesting responses from our readers. Readers talked about how holding time is hard for men, especially when they are the receivers. Some men learned from their homes growing up that it is wrong to show emotions or ask for help. […]

The Wisdom of a Three Year Old

The Wisdom of a Three Year Old  I wanted to share an email we received that I’m sure will be one of our all time favorites. This is from a mom who wanted to read “How We Love”, but did not have the money to purchase the book.  Several days after we corresponded she got a gift […]

Differentiation vs. Annihilation

Differentiation vs. Annihilation  Fourth in a four part series. According to the New Milan Dictionary: Differentiation:  “To distinguish oneself as different from another.” Annihilation:  “To make something go away as though it didn’t exist.” Last week we talked about how the pleasers, avoiders and vacillators were shaped into their broken attachment or love styles. What […]

Differentiation vs. Annihilation

Differentiation vs. Annihilation  Third in a four part series. According to the New Milan Dictionary: Differentiation:  “To distinguish oneself as different from another.” Annihilation:  “To make something go away as though it didn’t exist.” So… remember the little kid from last week’s newsletter whose anxious hovering mom couldn’t let him get too far from her […]