The Most Healing Love
Here is another line from the prayer Milan and I have prayed for you.
Grant us the ability to love as you love with a willingness to bear each other’s sin and shame. As you left the glory of heaven and entered into a broken world, give us the courage to enter into the broken places of our spouses and love them in their darkest places.
It’s easy to love the wonderful qualities about our spouse on any person for that matter.
But that love is not nearly as healing as the kind of love that finds the dark, ugly place in a person and loves them there.
We would really like it if our spouses were not all that human….didn’t have any weakness, faults or shortcomings.
But they are human.
They are weak.
They have shortcomings.
When we say, “I see the dark places inside you and I choose to love you anyway. I will bear your sin and shame like Jesus bore mine. I will love all of you. This kind of love redeems, restores and heals.
We can hardly believe it when we receive such a gift.
Shame is a feeling of brokenness, inadequacy, feeling flawed and defective. I takes safely and courage to let someone see these secret places we try so hard to hide. We most need to be loved in these places. This is the challenge of marriage; to love as Jesus loved, to walk into the mess instead of away from it.
To bear the cost of another’s shortcomings; that is sacrificial.
That is like Jesus.
Maybe you could tell you spouse, “I see this weakness in you (name it) and I want to love you there. I want to hold you and hear about any pain that weakness causes you.
Perhaps you could be vulnerable to your spouse and say, “I want to confess a weakness in me. I really need love in this place. It causes me shame and regret.
Sound too vulnerable?
Jesus is the king of vulnerability.
He hung naked on a cross and bore your sin and mine.
Can you love like he loves?
Milan and Kay
Next week: Seeing the Soul of Your Spouse