“Lessons from Pain…NOT KNOWING.”

“Lessons from Pain…NOT KNOWING.”

When our oldest son Kevin was 3 years old, his highly expressive and extroverted personality began to blossom and his favorite question we would hear many times a day was “What den?”   A typical conversation went like this.

“Kevin, let’s get in the car, we’re going to church.”
“What den?”

“Well, after that, we may go to the lake.”
“What den?”

“Well, we can get wet and play in the sand.”
“What den?  Can we have ice cream?”

“Sure, we’ll each get a cone.”
“What den?”

“I don’t know.”
“But, what den?”

Fast forward to June 18-July 5, 2008.

“Mr. Yerkovich, can you tell me your birthday?”
“2/9/49.”
“Good, you are the correct patient. We’re going to interventional radiology.”
“What then?”

“We’re going to take an echogram of your right lung.”
“What then?”

“We may have to have one of the radiologists tap the space around your lung and remove the fluid.”
“What then?”

“Then, he or she will take another echo.”
“What then?”

“Mr. Yerkovich, I have no idea, we’ll just have to wait and see.”

As we wheeled down the corridor and on to the elevator, I had a de-ja-vu moment, and thought of Kevin and realized, we are all the same.  We all have a need to know that resides within each of our souls. The question is how strong is this need?

For some of us, the power of this “need” is so strong that we are chronically anxious to the point that we obsess on knowing everything.  Were so preoccupied with the task of finding out information to feed our insatiable anxiousness that we never stop long enough to consider the impossibility of the goal.   For some of us, our anxiety is so compelling that our logic never stops to question why our soul is so fearful and guarded… we simply continue to gather information.

If left unchecked, decades slip by and our self-absorption causes us to miss what is happening today.   Three things we all can do will begin to calm the overly inflamed “need to know”part of our brain, which by the way is called the medulla oblong-“gotta know

  1. Resign ourselves to the fact that the broken world in which we live is unpredictable. We cannot know the future, only God does.
  2. Share our anxiety with others, face its origins in our past, be willing to be angry at the original pain, and learn to grieve the loss.
  3. Meditate and pray over Philippians 4:6-7, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made know to God; and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

Thanks & Love,

Milan and Kay

Next week:  I’m not telling!   You will have to wait to find out!

Shush!  I have no idea.”
“We will all have to find out together what happens next.”
“No more questions.”
“We’ll have to wait and see.”