Holding Time Part 4
Here are some specific ways to try a holding. Our advice is to make a clear distinction between holding and sex. We all need nurturing, comforting touch that isn’t sexual. Learn to communicate directly as a couple and make it clear when you want to give or receive touch that is non-sexual and when your touch is an invitation to have sex.
Exercise #1: Quiet Relaxing Holding. 20 minutes
Pick a quiet time with as few interruptions as possible. I know this is a challenge if you have small children. Find a comfortable spot and put on some relaxing music. Take 10 minute turns so each spouse is both a giver and receiver. Don’t talk and close your eyes. Be quietly present in the experience and notice what you feel. Try and sync your breathing so you are inhaling and exhaling in the same rhythm with one another. Use pillows and support so you can both relax as much as possible during this experience.