So, what do we need to do to grow? Remember that relationships are the great exposer of my weaknesses. Therefore:
1. We must first recognize our own need to grow up developmentally, emotionally toward a secure attachment style versus focusing on the other person (I Corinthians 13:11, Psalm 139:23-24 and Ephesians 4:15). Often, we are stuck in denial and blame our spouses or children. We can also develop religious defenses that keep us from facing ourselves and growing. An example of this would be believing that we are the “martyr” or “persecuted one” and this is “my cross to bear”.
2. We must learn that “true love” requires a more mature perspective, “And this I (Apostle Paul) pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and discernment (Philippians 1:9).” The Greek “agape” love here described, involves God like actions for the wellbeing of others as opposed to a warm feeling of love (Greek “Philos”). Love then must grow and mature as “knowledge” and “discernment” increase. We love with more wisdom.
3. We must decide to be courageous and make a commitment to the process of growth, which requires hard work and is often painful! We can choose to engage or run. God does not often answer our prayer to “stop the pain”, because he would have to stop the maturing process.
More next week!
Thanks for listening.
Milan & Kay