Growth and Maturity

Growth and Maturity

The catchy jingle “I don’t want to grow up, I’m a Toys R Us Kid!” strikes a chord in each of us. I believe there is a kid within all of us that resists the steady march toward adulthood and the myriad of responsibilities it brings. While being playful and having fun is something I never want to lose, maturity requires that I also learn to embrace grown up realities… something not everybody learns to do.

I remember being invited to a dinner at a couple’s home and being immediately struck with the number of toys I saw. I was led around by the husband who proudly showed me dozens of items from entertainment centers to sporting goods and even his “toy hauler” trailer parked by the side of the house. At the end of the evening having experienced no substantive conversations nor having one question asked of Kay and me, I remember driving away thinking “this is a boy in a grown man’s body.” Sometime later, while channel surfing, I stopped on the “The Real Wives of St. Elsewhere” and after a few minutes thinking to myself, “Junior High girls in grown women’s bodies.”

God has a different desire for each of us. Maturity! Addressing “adult” Christians in Ephesus, the Apostle Paul says “… we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves, and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming: but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him, who is the head, even Christ (Ephesians 4:14-15).”

What does growth and maturity look like? What’s the difference between a child and an adult? Why does personal growth seem so foreign and daunting? We’ll begin to explore these and other questions more fully next week.
Thanks for listening.
Milan & Kay


4 Responses to “Growth and Maturity”

Hello. I finished your book and workbook! My husband agreed to take the quiz and use the resources and we have gone around the comfort circle several times. (Although he refuses to read the material and thus I think not fully have the theory.) Each time the Comfort Circle (CC) ended with some resolution and some comfort. To me the best factor of it all is that we are engaging in meaningful conversation. Having the words and questions before us are essential and keep us exploring. My husband is an avoider and so the questions keep him engaged and keep me, a vacillator, feeling like he is interested in my soul. He thinks, however, that it is all “problem” oriented and he is tired of problems, even though he does not deny that the CC is a positive thing. We have spend the majority of our 27 years of marriage in a bad pattern. And now we are trying to change it. What I would like to have is specific suggestions to engage in fun, non problem oriented conversations and activities. We have two teens at home I frequently get discouraged because our conversations are very fact oriented and not really a back and forth conversation. When we have a moment my husband talks about work and I notice that he gives long monologues and I want more he says a few sentences and then I respond or vice versa. It seems we can only get in the speaker/listener mode with your sheets and my husband sees them, as although helpful, not positive. Please expand on what you refer to as substantive conversation and give ideas on how to encourage our spouses and family to engage in it.

I agree you need to have positive conversations as well. Asking good questions is a big part of having good conversations. Sit down and write a list of possible questions like… if you could go anywhere in the world where would you go? Or what was your favorite family vacation? What’s the best book you’ve ever read? What was the favorite teacher that you have had in your life time? What was the best part of your day? Let me know how these work. Blessings thanks for writing Kay

What do we do when he won’t read the material? I don’t even know how to start a conversation to even attempt the CC if he won’t participate in anything else.

It’s very difficult when you have an unwilling partner. What does he do when he’s stressed? Behavior? Reactions? When you observe these be compassionate…”You seem stressed and I care about how you are doing. How can I help? See if he will talk about his childhood.

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