Special Announcement Saturday, November 3, 2012 6:00-10:00 PM Arroyo Trabuco Golf Club 26772 Avery Parkway, Mission Viejo, CA 92692 This special event will include a silent auction, hors d’oeuvres, dinner and testimonies from people who are experiencing a 180 relational turn in their lives. At the end of the evening you will be given the […]
Trait: I can control the level of my reactivity so I am able to stay engaged in difficult conversations. Phyllis: “I hate it when he lies to me, he’s always shading the truth, misleading me or outright lying to me. I don’t trust him and I just want to know what else he is hiding. […]
The Secure Connector: #16 in a series. Trait: I know how to use my anger to identify more vulnerable feelings underneath the anger and communicate the more vulnerable feelings. When angry people explode, they only have one answer as to why they got angry… “Because you made me mad!” Wow, now that’s an answer […]
Trait: I can say no and draw boundaries even when it makes someone mad. This one is very hard for Pleasers and Victims. Because of fear, Pleasers and Victims freeze when intimidated or threatened. This can vary from mild to severe and in the most extreme cases, their brains and bodies will lock up […]
Trait: I have experienced the connection and closeness that results when a conflict is resolved. I was at a wedding recently when a mom approached me with her 4 year old in tow. “Jenni, this is Mr. Milan and he is the one who taught daddy and me about rupture and repair.” Jenni’s mouth fell […]
Trait: “I can keep listening and explore another’s feelings, experiences and point of view even when I disagree with them. Before I get started, two quick announcements: If you know anyone who needs a job, I highly recommend Get Noticed And Get Hired by Steve Matter. You can order his book at Amazon.com […]
Trait: “I am comfortable with reality and don’t minimize problems.” As someone comically stated, “Denial (the Nile) isn’t just a river in Egypt, it’s a thing we all do.” Why is that ? Why do we wish to minimize, dismiss, pretend, fantasize, fabricate and lie about what is really happening in our personal world? The […]
Trait: “I can control the level of my reactivity so I am able to stay engaged in difficult conversations.” Someone asked, “So… how long is this Secure Connector Series?” Well, we have 28 points that describe the secure connector and today’s post is number 19. In the past, some of the blog posts have included […]
Trait: “I know how to use my anger to identify more vulnerable feelings underneath the anger and communicate the more vulnerable feelings.” But first, a question from last weeks blog: “My parents were not critical or angry, but a neighborhood girl with whom I played as a child was bossy, controlling and reactive… her way […]
Trait: “I can say no and draw boundaries even when it makes someone mad.” Those of us who are insecure pleasers and victims have a really tough time with this one. The thought of disagreeing with someone, opposing them, initiating conflict about difficult topics and saying “NO!” to someone causes us to become […]