Carpe Diem-Seize the Day, Martha and Mary (Part 4)

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“Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things;

but only a few things are necessary, really only one;

for Mary has chosen the good part,

which shall not be taken away from her (Luke 10:38-42).”

Jesus walked into town one day… which didn’t happen often.

Mary seized a growth moment (Carpe Diem) and Martha did not.

Routine blinded Martha from seeing an opportune connection moment

She chose task over connection.

We too can miss key people around us… spouse, kids, a friend, in interesting stranger.

Learning to not miss people is a learned conscious effort which requires work… if we’re going to get good at it.

Here are some key tips that I learned to practice that have helped me maintain important relationships:

  • In my family of 6 persons, I had to learn that there were five interpersonal connections that had to be maintained on a regular daily basis.
  • Each of them has three dimensions:  body, soul, spirit so I learned to ask a question with each of them in these areas daily.
  • Spontaneous / serendipitous moments are critical.  When a kid wants to talk… drop everything for a few minutes and connect.
  • When someone is emotional (which can appear in unpredictably) just connect with the moment and empathize.  Don’t fix it… sometime later readdress the issue if it needs to be discussed.
  • Stop painting, let the brush dry, forget the roller, and take off the tool belt. Choose to connect vs. task. Learn to throw task aside.
  • If we are the type that is emotion averse, learn to lean in, listen and empathize with what others are feeling.  Let them feel.   Celebrate it… God made them (and you) with emotions.
  • Growth in Christ is measured by increased success in connection.
  • Really only a few things are important, Mary CHOSE (key word) the good part. We all have only 24/7… so the highest priorities picked first.
  • Learn to be patient with those who are the sensitive, creative artsy types.  They are often not understood by the majority and as the smaller percentage of our society they are often criticized.  People are often impatient with them because the world rewards producers.
  • Yet while the “producers” can often look with disdain upon the counterculture types and artists, ironically, when they need a special event for entertaining a customer, then he or she will pay a lot of money for a play or concert where writers, directors, producers and actors display their creativity music and dance, and go to an upscale Manhattan restaurant where creative chefs perform their artistry.

Some years ago, at a particularly stressful moment my son John called from where he was living in Hawaii.  “Dad can you help me figure out the chords to James Taylor’s Fire and Rain?”  Even though I was feeling about as stressed as Charlie Sheen’s liver, I picked up my guitar, tuned our guitars together on speaker phone and 30 minutes later, he had the chord progression all figured out.

The words, “Thanks dad… I love you” made it all worth it.

A successful future is made up of a group of successful days linked together now.

What do you want the future to look like?

It starts today.

It is never too late to start 

Carpe Diem… Seize the day.  Carpe Momentum… Seize the moment!


  • My sister, Millie Kay is doing much better.  All of her infections have cleared up, her inflamed appendix and gall bladder are gone and she is now tired and weak.  This coupled with her cerebral palsy had made it difficult for her to swallow without aspirating food or drink into her lungs.  Yesterday they surgically inserted a feeding tube through her abdominal wall into her stomach.  Beginning tonight she will receive better nutrition which will hopefully help her get stronger, into a rehab hospital and finally to a point where she can swallow completely on her own.  At that point they could remove the tube. Please continue to hold our family in prayer through this tedious process.  We’re all tired.
  • Check out our new book, How We Love our Kids which is now released and available at our website  I ordered mine on my Kindle.
  • Be sure to look at all of our appearances across the United States, hopefully we’ll be near you very soon.  We’re doing a How We Love seminar inMission Viejo this weekend.  You can go to for info and to sign up.
  • Mary Belanger is our new How We Love Administrator and her contact information is
  • REMEMBER:  You can now follow us at:

Thanks for listening.

Love and Blessings,

Milan & Kay